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Kotex Mom

Helping you be prepared for the tough discussions #KotexMom

mom and daughterMy time as a U by Kotex Tween Ambassador is ending. I hope you enjoyed some of the information I shared about having “the Talk” with your daughter about getting her period and going through puberty. I know my experience writing these posts and sharing the information with you has opened my eyes to all the great information there’s out there at the U by Kotex website for teens and tweens as well as Kotex’s website for moms and dads.

But like any topic that’s tough to talk about, the important thing is to keep the lines of communication open between you and your child. Find time to spend one on one with them so they’ll feel more comfortable coming to you with questions. And seek out materials to help you through the process such as a helpful website or book. Don’t be shy asking friends and relatives to share how they had “the Talk” with their daughters. It’s all about being prepared to have the tough discussions about anything, whether it’s periods and puberty, sexuality, or drugs and alcohol.

And just to review, here’s a list of my previous Kotex Mom posts:

How are you preparing to have the tough discussions with your child?

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Disclosure: I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Posted on November 24, 2012 in Health and tagged as ,

Look good, smell good, feel good #KotexMom

mother and daughterOne of the tough things for tweens and teens to keep on top of is hygiene. I know at my house getting my kids to bathe enough is like pulling teeth. Both my son and daughter regularly take showers, but do so reluctantly. I have no idea why, as I love a good hot shower. (It’s just having to deal with my hair afterwards that’s a total pain.)

Bathe regularly

With girls who are menstruating, it’s especially important that they bathe regularly. I’ll never forget the time my friend Sue came over and had to borrow some pads from my mom. After she went home, my mom said she wasn’t surprised that Sue was having her period since she was a little bit stinky. I was really embarrassed for her!

Also, just because your daughter’s having her period doesn’t mean she can’t take a bath. In fact, in my opinion there’s nothing better than a good hot bubble bath for cramps and tummy pain. If she’s concerned about blood that’s gotten into the bath water, have her take a quick shower afterwards to rinse off.

Change regularly

It’s also important to tell your daughter to change her pad or tampon regularly. U by Kotex advises:

On regular (medium) days, you should feel the need to change a pad or tampon with regular absorbency about every four hours. If four hours pass and you find your pad or tampon to still be mostly white, then that’s considered to be a light day, and on these days you might want to switch over to a panty liner or a pad/tampon with light absorbency – especially if you find it hurts to take out your tampon because it’s dry. If you check your product before four hours have passed and you feel like your pad or tampon (or both) needs to be changed sooner, then that’s considered a heavy day, and you would be better off with a super, super plus, or max absorbency pad or tampon. On your heaviest days, you can avoid accidents and overflow by wearing a pad or liner with your tampon, and perhaps you’ll want to sleep in our overnight pads with max protection so you don’t have to worry about staining your sheets.

And no matter how vigilant she is with changing her pad or tampon, leaks will occur. Kotex’s advice is to treat stains by washing out clothing or sheets with cold water as soon as possible. They also say that rubbing salt directly on the stain or presoaking in hydrogen peroxide for 15 to 20 minutes before tossing into a regular load. (I like using a good stain treatment spray, too.) You may also want to go out and buy your daughter a set of dark colored underwear to use when she’s having her period.

Finally, make sure she has a supply of pads or tampons in her purse, gym bag, locker and backpack for those unexpected emergencies. And make sure you stock up at home, too!

My daughter, the grump

My daughter is nowhere near puberty yet, but boy is she moody. The fact of the matter is that moods can swing as hormones fluctuate. As parents, we have to be supportive and positive. But at the same time, we moms can be moody depending on our cycles and if we’re going through the early stages of menopause. You have to realize that sometimes it’s the hormones talking, not either of you. Find time to chill, calm down and apologize if necessary. (Big hugs help, too!) Then find time to do some cool mother-daughter activities like cooking or going to the movies.

For more tips for moms and daughters, check out Kotex Tween and U by Kotex.

U by Kotex Tween Giveaway!

Mom Central is giving away U by Kotex Tween Pads and Liners to 50 lucky winners! You can enter the giveaway here. Giveaway ends November 12!

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Disclosure: I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Posted on October 29, 2012 in Health and tagged as

Preparing for the inevitable: getting your period at school #kotexmom

school girlsIn my Kotex Mom posts, I’ve written about having The Talk about periods and puberty with your daughter and to share sites like kotex.com/tween with her. I’ve also mentioned how important it is to be prepared for getting those first periods by having supplies in the house like U by Kotex pads and liners.

But what happens if your daughter gets her period at school?

Have a chat with the school.  Ask the health clerk or nurse, your child’s teacher or the school counselor how they handle girls getting periods at school. I’m sure they’re used to it at the middle school, but how prepared is your daughter’s elementary school. Do they stock pads in the nurse’s office? If girls don’t have lockers, can they keep pads with their teacher or in the nurse’s office?

If your daughter has cramps or feels ill, can she lie down? What about getting a pain reliever – or does she need a note from her doctor or you? Is there enough time between classes for girls to change their pads?

What about privacy? No girl wants to announce to her class or in a crowded nurse’s office that she got her period or is having cramps. Do the teachers and staff have a “code word” or way to handle this?

Back when I was a tweenager and teen, we brought pads from home in our purses (no backpacks then) and we didn’t need permission to take a Midol. Our nurse’s office had private areas and you had time to use the toilet whenever you wanted. Times have changed.

Prepare your daughter. Most kids have a backpack these days. How about stocking a small makeup bag, like the one below, with pads? Special pads for tweens like the ones made by U by Kotex are small but super absorbent, so you don’t need to carry more than a few for a day away from home. If she’s worried about having an accident, pack a pair of panties in a small ziplock baggie, which she can put at the bottom of her backpack or in her makeup bag. That way she can change and bring home the stained garment.

Even if your daughter isn’t close to approaching puberty, having a small bag for band-aids, a hairbrush, ponytail holder, and a mirror is a great way to get used to carrying this stuff around. Before you know it, she’ll not only be carrying pads but makeup, too!

backpack
Teach your daughter the warning signs. Everyone is different, so it may be hard know what warning signs to look for when you’re getting your period. For some girls, they may break out a day or two before. Or there may be some light cramping or feeling moody. Some girls may experience breast tenderness. The U of Kotex website has a terrific article about this, First Period: What You Might Expect.

Even so, sometimes your period doesn’t announce itself. I remember being in my high school’s dark room printing out some photographs. All of a sudden I experienced knife-like cramps “down there” and had to run to the bathroom with my purse to take care of things. Not fun at all.

How are you helping your daughter prepare for getting her period at school?

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Disclosure: I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Posted on September 23, 2012 in Health and tagged as

Preparing to have a talkable moment with your child #KotexMoms

mother and daughter

Recently I cohosted a couple of online parenting webinars with Amy McCready of Positive Parenting Solutions. Amy pointed out that kids crave attention from their parents, which is why they act out when they’re not getting it. Kids are just dying get that special attention from mom or dad, even tweens and teens. You can use this to your advantage when planning to have any important talk – like The Talk about periods and puberty – with your daughter. After all, what kid wouldn’t want some one-on-one time with mom?

Here are some fun ways to break the ice when having The Talk:

  • Play video games. Then head to the kitchen for grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Chat over your meal or between gaming sessions.
  • Cook together. Have a chat while baking cupcakes or cookies.
  • Get out of the house. Go out for a meal or snack. Pick a place or time when the entire fifth grade isn’t at DQ grabbing a cone.
  • Go for a drive. Turn off the radio and eliminate other distractions like phones and iPads.
  • Go shopping at the mall. Or have a mani/pedi session at the local salon. Stop at the food court for some smoothies and a chat.
  • Go for a hike or go camping. This is my husband’s way of having deep and meaningful discussions with the kids.
  • Do a craft. Turn off the TV and play some quiet music in the background while you bead, scrapbook, paint or knit. Keeping your hands busy while you chat makes things less stressful.
  • Watch a movie. I have great discussiona with my kids about important topics from racism to death after watching movies that touched on those things. Most coming-of-age movie deal with first romances, so many may not be appropriate. However, 16 Candles is a good one in so many ways – it’s funny, sweet, and a great slice of ‘80s pop culture. Also, the brother discusses with his dad that the sister who’s getting married is having her period – and the dad commenting that he’s glad that he’s learning about that in school. It’s not much, but it could help. (Note: watch it on TV, which is edited to eliminate f-bombs, nudity and other things you may not want your child to see. The movie’s a lot raunchier than you may remember.)

Kotex Tween also has some great tips on how to have The Talk with your daughter, too.

What are your favorite ways to spend one-on-one time with your daughter?

Disclosure: I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Posted on August 26, 2012 in Health and tagged as ,

How to make The Talk less stressful #KotexMom

mother-daughter-2

Now that girls are reaching puberty earlier, moms (and dads) realize that they have to have “The Talk” about periods and puberty with their daughters before they reach middle school. So how do you talk to your daughter without intimidating her with the information? And how do you tell her without becoming a nervous wreck?

Here are some tips should make having The Talk a little less stressful:

  • Don’t reinvent the wheel: Do you have friends with teenage or college age daughters? Ask them how they had The Talk with their daughters! I’m sure your friends can give you some valuable insight and strategies.
  • Enlist an ally or two: If you’re nervous about talking to your daughter about puberty and body changes, ask her favorite “cool aunt,” godmother or older female cousin to help out. Maybe they can join you in the discussion or be the designated go-to person if your daughter feels awkward coming to you with questions. Some girls feel more comfortable chatting about personal matters with dad, so don’t be afraid to ask him to help out, too!
  • Go to the experts: There are many wonderful books out there that explain puberty, body changes and periods. Our family’s favorite is What’s Happening to Me?  (There’s a boy’s version, which my son enjoys, too.) Other good ones friends have mentioned are The Care and Keeping of You and My Body, My Self for Girls. These are books that you and your daughter can look at together, or she can read them on her own.
  • Get the facts online: Hello Period from U of Kotex is a terrific website for your daughter to explore on her own to get advice from other girls about periods and products.
  • Start slowly and make it part of your normal day: If you’re at the grocery or drugstore, maybe it’s a good time to discuss body odor or hairy legs when you wander down the personal care product aisle together. Ask your daughter if she’d like to pick out a stick of deodorant or some body wash to keep in her bathroom. Or show her the brand of  leg shavers you like to use. Make purchasing hygiene products as normal as picking up milk or toothpaste.

Kotex Tween also has some great tips on how to have The Talk with your daughter:

  • First, pick the day you’ll have the conversation.
  • Second, start the conversation right. Kotex Tween suggests making time for just the two of you to talk by having at home spa day. If your daughter’s more outgoing, take her out for a meal either alone or with female relatives. It’s all about creating a safe space to talk about growing into a young woman and what that means.
  • Third, be prepared for the questions she may ask. Kotex Tween has an extensive Q&A section here on periods and gives you answers to fit your daughter’s maturity level.
  • Finally, take her shopping for the right products. U by Kotex Tween products feature the same absorbent protection as U by Kotex products, but are smaller than Kotex’s regular pads. They also come in vibrant new colors and patterns that tweens and teens really like. After shopping, find a special place in her bathroom to store her products in. If she shares a bathroom with younger siblings, she may want to keep her pads and other personal care products in her room.

Have you had The Talk with your daughter yet? How did you handle it?

Disclosure: I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Posted on July 28, 2012 in Health and tagged as ,

Have you had the talk? Why I’m a U by Kotex Tween Ambassador #KotexMom

Mother Daughter

Here’s how I learned about getting my period. Back in fourth grade, all the girls were taken to the school cafeteria, where we were shown a movie about getting your period. We also got to take home a little booklet. I read that booklet countless times, so I’m sure my mom knew that I had it. However, we never had “the talk.”

When I did get my period, I told her what happened. My mom congratulated me on being a woman and asked me if I knew where the pads were. But that was about it. We never talked about cramps, hygiene, public hair, using deodorant, leg shaving or any of that other growing up stuff. While I knew she was there if I had a question, I was too shy to ask and tried to figure it out by myself.

That’s why I’ve signed up to be a U by Kotex Tween Ambassador – to help parents and kids prepare for “the talk” in a way that’s natural, informative and loving.

Getting the facts early

Luckily, moms (and dads) have tools like Kotex’s website  to help prepare us to have the talk with our tweens. It’s so important to talk with your kids early because girls are now having their periods as early as eight years of age! Even if your daughter isn’t showing signs of puberty, she may have friends who are and will be curious about it.

That’s why my daughter, Lucie, who is 9, and already knows about puberty and periods thanks to franks discussions with both her parents and reading What’s Happening to Me?, a terrific book about going through puberty from Usborne Books. She’s nowhere near puberty, but has older gal pals from karate, school and camp who are. Lucie’s naturally curious about body changes, but sees them as normal and something to look forward to – except for eyebrow plucking, which she think sounds horrible, go figure.

I’m glad we’ve been matter-of-fact with Lucie and her brother. I hope it’ll save them some of the mortification I felt as a young girl when learning about body changes and periods back then.

Preparing for the talk

The Kotex website is a great source of reference that can help you prepare for your talk with your daughter. It has great tools such as a calendar with facts about puberty, questions your daughter may ask, ways to start the conversation, and more. I especially liked the information on Getting the Facts and Preparing for the Talk. 

There’s also a  Aimee Teegarden Gets Real Video by Kotex & Nickelodeon ParentsConnect that you should check out. In it she talks about how she and her mom have always had an open line of conversation about everything from Aimee’s career to going through puberty. Aimee also relates a story about a 14-year-old friend getting her first period during a slumber party. Her friend hadn’t had the talk with her mom yet and had to rely on the other girls at the slumber party to help her figure out what to do. Aimee called it “on the job training,” which was kind of ironic yet a little sad, too.

Finally, there’s the U by Kotex website page for tweens and teens for your daughter to browse and find information on periods, products, and puberty. It’s a great website for your daughter to look over on her own, especially if she’s too shy to come out and ask you a question about pads or pubic hair. Or you can look it over together to get the conversation started!

Have you had the talk with your daughter yet?

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Disclosure: I wrote this review while participating in a Brand Ambassador Campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of U by Kotex Tween and received products to facilitate my post and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

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Posted on June 24, 2012 in Health and tagged as ,