Today’s guest post is by Mari L. McCarthy. Mari’s a journaling therapy specialist and author. She runs Create Write Now, a website dedicated to all things journaling. The site includes hundreds of journaling prompts, personal journaling stories, interviews, a blog, and many other resources. Mari has published nine books to date; her most recent ebook is Help for the Holidays: 7 Days of Journaling to Ho! Ho! Ho!

Mari’s guest posted for me before at Are you listening to your inner coach or your inner critic?. Today I asked her to write about holiday depression because it affects so many of us. Maybe it’s caused by the the lack of light or the cold weather. Or possibly it’s remembrances of past holidays – whether happy or sad. Whatever the case may be, I hope Mari’s piece helps you, a friend or a loved one tackle holiday depression through the process of journaling.

When the holidays depress you by Mari L. McCarthy

There are innumerable reasons why the winter holidays might not be the happiest of times for you. Maybe the season reminds you of loved ones who are gone. Maybe you're not financially able to provide the gifts you would like to give. Or perhaps the stress of shopping, cooking, and decorating is never superseded by joy in your heart. Maybe the materialism of the holidays that dominates our culture depresses you; or the pressing threat of weight-gain terrifies you; or perhaps you're a workaholic and hate taking time off.

And all these reasons for melancholy only scratch the surface. It's a stressful time in one way or another for just about all of us. Surely most of us manage to keep the tensions to a minimum, not letting them destroy our overall enjoyment of the season. But for some of us, the holidays mean nothing more than difficulties.

Finding peace through journaling

If it's just not fun at all for you to endure this time, my suggestion is to find your peace through journaling. Here are some ideas, and many more are offered in my holiday journaling e-workbook.

1. Start in early December and describe in your journal, in detail, your feelings about the holidays. Get as clear as you can about the things that distress you.
2. Set aside your inner critic as you journal, and allow yourself to complain and cry fully as much as you're inclined. No holding back!
3. Writing out descriptions of your stress points may bring you in touch with deep emotions. Keep breathing and do your best to face these uncomfortable feelings, rather than avoid them.
4. By mid-December at the latest, create a plan in your journal about what you will do during the holidays. Avoid giving in to pressures from outside, and schedule activities that you truly want to do. Consider what will bring you close to the joy of this time. If that means taking walks in the woods rather than attending parties, so be it. There's only one rule: do not plan to do nothing. Plan to be at least somewhat active in various ways, because it's a sure thing that hibernating or hiding away will only make you feel worse.
5. As the season unfolds, continue to journal your reactions and thoughts about what you experience. Do your best to connect what is happening with the feelings and expectations you described in the earlier days of the month. Are your experiences deepening your soul's responses? Do you find yourself surprised by your emotions, now that you're writing everything out in your journal? Are you getting in touch with greater clarity, or more complexity? By journaling, you progress in some way; you're no longer stuck in the same old same old.

It's likely that you'll want to continue journaling into the New Year, but whether or not you do, be sure to re-read your holiday journal so you can gain appreciation for your brave journey and understand even more thoroughly your personal evolution towards peace.

Cope with holiday depression by journaling is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

Here at This Mama Cooks! On a Diet, I post about health from a diet and lifestyle perspective. However, I wanted to change things up a bit and address health from a mental and emotional aspect. That’s where today’s guest post from Mari L. McCarthy comes in. Mari is known as the Journaling Therapy Specialist and is the founder of Journaling for the Health of It™.

In her book, Who Are You? How to Use Journaling Therapy to Know and Grow Your Life, Mari presents a gentle process for self discovery through journaling. She also addresses financial health in her latest publication, Your Money Matters! Use Journal Writing Therapy to Get Financially Fit Now.

After reading her blog, Create Write Now, I was so intrigued with Mari’s journaling methods that I purchased her book, Peace of Mind and Body: 27 Days of Journaling to Health & Happiness on Kindle. You can check out her ebooks such at 53 Weekly Writing Retreats: How to Use Your Journal to Get Healthy Now and other materials in her store.

Your inner coach or your inner critic: which one to believe?

Inside every one of us there's both a coach and a critic. Knowing which one is the best teacher in any given moment can be tricky.

A coach is someone who helps you get better at something and a critic is someone who delights in dissing you, right? Not exactly. Because even though we might sometimes define the roles that way, it's equally true that a coach is someone who drives you hard through grueling activities, and a critic is one who helps you make good decisions.

As a journaler, I spend a lot of time with these two characters, and I have to say that their banter keeps me alert, and enlightens me regularly.

My inner coach is so encouraging. She reassures me and bolsters my confidence. My inner critic shows me truths I would rather avoid, and calls me to improve. So they are both useful to my life.

There can be times, though, when balancing the input from these two can be mind boggling. Sometimes my inner coach challenges me. She can tell when I'm lying to myself, and she doesn't rest until I get straight. Here's an example.

I work at my desk all day and don't get enough exercise. I try to stay motivated to take a walk at lunchtime. On days when I just don't feel like walking, my inner coach gets really quiet at first, but then she launches a series of lectures and gentle prods trying to get me up off my butt.

Meanwhile, my inner critic is snickering in the corner about what a baby I am. Stuck in the middle between them, I just want my mother.

Or how about when I am obsessed with the thought of that chocolate cake in the kitchen? I want it with my entire being. My inner critic is silent for a few minutes and then she starts talking about how she knew I couldn't stick to my diet, she's not in the least surprised that I'm giving in again.

And my inner coach? She's telling me to get a grip, take a deep breath, drink some tea. She says, you're okay, you can have a piece of cake tomorrow, don't worry.

My reaction? I want to go eat that cake right now so the critic will hush up. But I do not want to betray my coach, whom I love.

It's a quandary. Who should I listen to?

When you write it out like this, it's really clear who you should listen to. In the moment of craving, though, you're truly torn.

That's why using a journal as the intermediary between me, my inner coach, and my inner critic is a great solution. Seeing it in black-and-white (or purple-and-white, or black-and-tan, or whatever is your style) is how I put the advice of the critic and coach to best use.

In my journal, my options come clear. Within its pages I organize these insistent inner helpers so that I can make reasonable progress. My journal lets me be the best that I can be.

Learn more about Mari L. McCarthy at Create Write Now.

Are you listening to your inner coach or your inner critic? Guest post from Mari L. McCarthy #WhoRUBook is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

I’ve been reading the most wonderful book this summer, Second Wind: One Woman's Midlife Quest to Run Seven Marathons on Seven Continents, by Cami Ostman. It’s about her quest to run marathons in all seven continents. While training and running each race, she challenges herself to overcome obstacles – both mental and physical – and learns more about her self in the process.

If you liked Eat Pray Love or Siren's Feast, An Edible Odyssey (which I reviewed here), you’ll love Second Wind as well. This time the metaphor for growth, change and awakening is running not food, but the story’s just as delicious.

Cami has generously offered to do a guest post about “Running through the hard times.” Read more from Cami on her website, 7marathons7continents.com.

Running through the hard times

On the same terrible day the Twin Towers tumbled down in New York City, I was wandering around my house trying to decide what to take and what to leave when I walked away from my marriage (no kids). I had televisions on in two different rooms so that I could hear the news wherever I was. Periodically, I stopped wrapping a dish or folding bedding so that I could cry before placing my carefully chosen object in a box. There was a lot to cry about that day, as there would be for months to come while both the country and I recovered from our collective and respective grief. How we would handle it was still up for grabs.

Leaving my marriage was the right choice for me, but it wasn’t easy. I was the bad guy - the one who broke the promise - and that weighed on me. For six months I buried my gloom and guilt in work, wine and bouts of sobbing. I ate sporadically, and weirdly - whatever sounded good, never mind what was good for me - but food didn’t give me the kind of comfort it had when I was younger and had stuffed down the sadness I felt about my parents’ divorce with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on Wonderbread.

Moving forward, one run at a time

Then one day I had met up with an old friend. Bill had been my employer years before, and we’d reconnected via email in the past months as I lived out of cardboard boxes and mourned the loss of my vision of myself as a good wife. The evening Bill and I went out for dinner came at the end of a particularly quiet day during which I’d had several hours to think about this question: How will I move forward?

As we sat together at a Thai restaurant catching up on years of being out of touch, he told me about his own divorce. And he said something I’ll never forget, “You might try running to help you get on your feet. I started running to get me through. I ran until I hurt more on the outside than I did on the inside. It worked.” He spoke with a certain amount of solemnity, as if he were sharing a sacred secret.

The next week, I did take a run, per my old friend’s suggestion. And guess what? It changed my life. Well, it wasn’t that one little three-miler that changed my life, but that was the beginning. It was the first time I’d ever gone for a run with such a sense of purpose and need. I ran not just with my legs but with my heart. I ran with my grief and self-condemnation chasing me. And I breathed in a fresh, free, abandoned way that I hadn’t breathed for months.

Learning through running

It’s been 10 years (and many hundreds of miles) since that dark time. Today running is as much a part of my life as the double-short-one-pump-of-sugar-free-cinnamon-dolce-soy-latte I drink every morning, and far more essential to my well-being (not to mention, cheaper). Since that first Zen run, I’ve completed a marathon on every continent and am working toward finishing one in every US State. I’m slow, what people call a back-of-the-packer, but I don’t care.

I learned something in those early days of running that is seared into my being by now: A girl can sleep/drink/eat/cry/self-destruct her way through grief, or she can run her way through it. Let’s face it, grief is always at our heels, really. Even during the easy times, even during the moments of hilarity, grief is a quiet cousin, waiting in the wings for his onstage cameo.

Most of us, myself included, just find grief (and his brothers, anger and guilt) too heavy to live with in full force. During the worst bouts, we’ll do almost anything to get relief. My friend (now my husband), Bill, was right: you can’t entirely get rid of grief, but you can get ahead of it now and again of you keep running.

Healing through exercise

Nowadays, in my private practice as a psychotherapist, when I work with clients trying to keep their lives together during crisis, I include exercise in my self-care checklist. The kind of movement that takes us forward - running, hiking, biking or walking - is a great metaphor for moving away from one life stage and into the next. (Other kinds of movement have their analogies, too. Dancing brings to mind joy; swimming makes one think of being immersed in hope or truth or change.)

Every sort of activity carries with it not just a way to burn calories but a way to think of life, and I feel this makes for a holistic approach to self- care - especially during tough times, when taking care of ourselves is the hardest.

So here’s to moving forward, to staying healthy, to getting healthy or to just plain managing the grief life brings our way. Sometimes that’s where we have to start.

About Cami’s book, Second Wind

Second Wind is the story of an unlikely athlete and an unlikely heroin: Cami Ostman, a woman edging toward midlife who decides to take on a challenge that stretches her way outside of her comfort zone. That challenge presents itself when an old friend suggests she go for a run to distract her from the grief of her recent divorce. Excited by the clarity of mind and breathing space running offers her, she keeps it up - albeit slowly. Soon the old friend, Bill, now a romantic interest, invites her to Prague to run a marathon. Little does either of them know that this race will ignite a quest to run seven marathons on seven continents.

More about Cami Ostman

Cami is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She currently runs between 20 and 40 miles each week as part of her own commitment to fitness and self-discovery. In her quest to run a marathon on every continent, she has been featured in several publications, including the Mudgee Guardian in Australia, The Bellingham Herald and Adventures Northwest in Washington State, La Prensa in Chile, and O Magazine. She completed her seventh continental marathon by running in Antarctica in March 2010. She lives in Bellingham, Washington.

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Cami’s publisher, Seal Press, sent me a copy of her book to facilitate this review.

Running through the hard times: a guest post from Second Wind author, Cami Ostman is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

Recently a friend asked me, “How do you feed your kids healthy meals everyday?” She told me how hard it was trying to change her habits and theirs. I told her it’s all about taking small steps and role modeling healthy living for your kids.

With the kids home for summer vacation, it’s a great time to role model a healthy lifestyle for your kids – and change some of your unhealthy habits, too. Thanks to those long summer days, you can do this whether you’re a stay (or work) at home parent or you work outside the home and the kids are in camp or daycare all day.

Plan healthy meals and snacks. Take the family for a walk after dinner. Go to the city pool, the beach or the lake to swim and be active. Make a healthy picnic to share with the kids after work in a local park or at the beach.

Here are some other suggestions on role modeling healthy choices for your kids!

Role modeling in the kitchen

• Keep healthy stuff in the house and no junk like chips, candy, cookies, and soda. If you aren’t eating it, neither are your kids.
• Keep the refrigerator and pantry stocked with healthy treats – frozen fruit pops, dried and fresh fruit, healthy breakfast cookies, non-fat Greek yogurt, and so on. My mom always kept Dannon yogurt in the fridge when I was growing up, along with fresh fruit like grapes, bananas and apples. Plus, what child doesn’t love Cuties oranges and kiwis, both of which are fun to eat?
• Don’t keep juice in the house! Eat your juice (fruit) don’t drink it.
• Serve skim milk. On our pediatrician’s recommendation, I limit my children to one glass of milk per meal. They can have water afterwards. It’s all about moderation, even with healthy foods like milk.
• Make eating healthy easier by cooking up big batches of healthy stuff – chili, soup, roast chicken, whole wheat spaghetti and homemade sauce, etc. That way you can heat up leftovers on those busy nights instead of ordering take out. This was how my mom cooked and my dad loved having the leftovers the next day for lunch.
• Start slowly. Buy whole grain bread instead of white bread, then graduate to organic whole grain bread. Start using whole wheat pasta instead of semolina pasta. Use corn or whole wheat tortillas instead of flour ones.
• Make it fun! Having the kids dip cucumber, cherry tomatoes and carrots in a lite ranch dressing is a good start to getting them to eat salad.
• Take advantage of summer – corn on the cob, fresh fruit and berries, and farmer’s markets! Fire up the grill and cook up fish, shrimp and lean meats. One of my favorite memories growing up was all the seafood my mom cooked up during the summer at home and at the beach like steamers, lobster and crab.
• Stock the pantry with healthy convenience foods like the light Progresso soups (my kids eat the chicken noodle for breakfast!), V8 juice (the one juice that I don’t mind the kids guzzling), Amy’s frozen foods and soups, and Healthy Choice Naturals. Many of these can be taken to work instead of getting fast food.
• Other easy to cook up foods include eggs and lean deli meats, both which you can use in chef salads and sandwiches.
• Try a healthy, low saturated fat buttery spread instead of real butter. I LOVE I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and so do the kids. They like saying, “I can’t believe it’s not butter, mom!” almost as much as they like eating it.
• Find a healthy pancake mix. Fiber One is good as are the ones by Bob’s Red Mill. Get lite syrup or try agave syrup. Use a fruit spread on the pancakes. Get a good start in the morning for those busy summer days!

Role modeling an active lifestyle

• Plant a garden with the kids or visit a pick your own farm. Both are great forms of exercise! Look into signing up for a CSA  (community supported agriculture) share in your area. Participating in a CSA share or having a garden forces you to cook up a lot of healthy produce.
• Celebrate the release of Kung Fu Panda 2 by going to an Asian market with the kids just to look at all the funky produce and the chicken feet! (Can you say field trip?) Get some bok choy, bamboo shoots, mushrooms, etc. and make stir fry after a trip to the movie theater. Have the kids suggest veggies they’d like to add to it. Don’t forget to make a big batch of brown rice to go with it.
• Find ways to walk or bike instead of driving. Can you walk to the library or store? Are there bike trails nearby? During summer vacation, take the time to do an outdoor physical activity with your family once a week.
• Moms and dads need to make exercise a priority, whether that means getting up early to work out or coming home a bit late a few nights. If the kids see you taking care of yourself, they’ll learn good habits. My mom always played tennis when I was growing up - and still does even though she’s in her late 70s. To this day she inspires me to keep active.
• Don’t forget your vitamins! Kids and adults should take a multi-vitamin every day.

Role modeling at got milk?

As my kids grow older, I realize how my mom continues to shape me as a mother. It’s all about the time we spent together as I grew up and the memories she made for me and my sister from the trips we took to the fun activities we did like berry picking, cooking, and painting.

Now moms can have fun with their kids online. For example, the Milk Mustache got milk? Campaign’s new interactive section on their Facebook page. First, “like” the Milk Mustache Facebook page then go to their Role Modeling page. Click on “get started” to send an e-postcard to someone you love. (Send dad or your favorite uncle the Angie Harmon e-postcard. I’m sure they won’t mind.)

Moms can spend some time reading the Like Mother Like Daughter – A revealing look at the crucial link between mothers, daughters, food and health report. Or click on the “pour one more” for all kinds of healthy recipes that use milk like fruit smoothies and veggie soups.

Have a wonderful summer role modeling a healthy lifestyle for your kids.

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Disclosure:  I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of the National Milk Mustache got milk? Campaign and was compensated for my time.

Role model a healthy lifestyle for your family this summer is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

So many of our family traditions revolve around food. For example:

We go out for at least one fancy meal per vacation like to the El Tavor at the Grand Canyon or to Rick Moonan’s RM Seafood in Las Vegas.

We eat potato pancakes during Hanukkah, even though our family isn’t Jewish. And we have pancakes for dinner on Shrove Tuesday even though we don’t observe Lent.

Every time we head back to San Diego, we stop off at In-N-Out Burgers for shakes, burgers and fries. And it's a must to hit a Mexican taco stand for rolled tacos with guacamole.

There are recipes that my mom used to make that I now cook for my family like crepes and Julia Child’s Chocolate Mousse.

There’s also Thanksgiving, the most traditional holiday of them all. We always brine and smoke the turkey. I always make one or two homemade cranberry sauces. And pumpkin pie is a must.

Now that I’ve developed food sensitivities, new food traditions are popping up such as Sriracha Chicken Skewers (my son Nathan, who hates chicken, loves these) and Tofu Chocolate Mousse (my daughter, Lucie,  is always requesting that I make up a batch).

Growing adventurous eaters

However, the culinary tradition I’m most proud of is that I’m raising two kids who are adventurous eaters.

It’s not on purpose so much as a happy accident. I especially notice this when their friends stay over and barely eat a thing. When I asked my Lucie why her friend didn’t eat the foods I prepared, Lucie told me she doesn’t like blueberries in her pancakes and meat in her spaghetti sauce!

Yes, my kids can be picky at times, but not that picky! After all they love curry, dim sum, pho, spring rolls and putting hot sauce on their pancakes (well, only Nathan).

Updating our culinary traditions

The other evening Nathan was very excited that his dad brought home a mini-wheel of Camembert, which he loves to call “cammy-bear” cheese. He and his sister were marching around the kitchen chanting, “Cammy-bear, cammy-bear!”

Amused, their father remarked, “I didn’t even know what Camembert was until I was in my 20s.”

I told the kids, “Of course, fancy cheeses were the norm when I grew up because I had a French mother.”

To which my husband replied, “That’s why I married your mom. She’s fancy!”

Who knew? I always thought my husband married me because I put up with his nonsense. Instead, he married me for my culinary traditions! (Except for the chicken liver one.) And now we’re passing on those traditions on to our kids.

Do your family traditions revolve around food or something else? How are you updating your traditions?

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Thank you to Log Cabin for sponsoring my post about updated traditions in my household. To learn more about Log Cabin Syrups (which are all free of High Fructose Corn Syrup), breakfast for dinner, and other new ways to update traditions in your home, click here.I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

Log Cabin Syrups was also my sponsor at BlogHer 2009.

Updating our culinary traditions #LogCabinSyrups is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

I’m beyond thrilled to have Wade Rouse guest post here at This Mama Cooks! On a Diet today. I first became aware of Wade when I attended the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop in 2010. He taught the Three H's: Humor, heartbreak and honesty workshop, which I enjoyed so much that I immediately reserved his first book, America’s Boy, at the library when I got home. Loved it!

So why have Wade guest post on a healthy recipe and lifestyle blog?  Wade used to be overweight. Well, more like a potential candidate for The Biggest Loser. Hard to believe since he’s so slim and fit these days and can wear tight jeans and t-shirts without offending those folks on What Not to Wear.

I’ll let Wade tell all about you about his weight loss journey and how he found happiness. He’s also included an excerpt from America’s Boy, about getting in shape and losing weight. If you’re going from fat to fit and need some weight loss and fitness inspiration, Wade’s your guy.

If you’d like to learn more about Wade, check out his website, WadeRouse.com and his writer’s workshop WadesWriters.com. He also has a new book out, It's All Relative: Two Families, Three Dogs, 34 Holidays, and 50 Boxes of Wine (A Memoir). You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter.

Audrey Hepburn Wrists

By Wade Rouse

I grew up in a family that had tiny wrists.

Petite wrists. Hand model wrists. Audrey Hepburn wrists.

It was something that didn’t strike me until I hit 30. I was 5’7”, 260 pounds, and was home visiting my family. My mother had made her Ozarks specialty: Fried chicken, French fries, mashed potatoes with chicken-fried gravy.

Notice the key word? Fried.

I was inhaling my third piece of fried chicken – a leg, if I remember correctly – when I saw that my parents, who had always been thin, were finished. Their hands were crossed on the table. I looked at that bony chicken leg. And then I looked at my wrist. It was the only tiny thing on my body. And then I studied my parents’ wrists.

We were not a fat family.

Food had always been my comfort. And my mother just wanted to comfort me.

When I was 13, my older brother was killed, just a month after graduating high school. I made the conscious decision to bury my sexuality along with my brother that summer day, because I could not bear to see my parents experience another day of grief.

Food became my baby blanket, my protection, my everything. Since I felt as if my life – my chance at ever being happy – were over, I buried myself in food. Being heavy isolated me from social activity, from girls, from boys, from the world.

I loved Cap’n Crunch with Crunchberries, Count Chocula and Frankenberry, iced Pop Tarts, Hostess fruit pies, Snickers, Cherry Mashes, grape, strawberry and orange Nehi soda, root beer floats, frozen pizzas, chips and French onion dip, Funyons, Little Debbies, Jeno’s Pizza Rolls. I would usually eat one from each category every single day.

Not exactly a replica of the FDA food pyramid.

By the time I went to college and joined a fraternity, I added beer and midnight Domino’s to the mix.

I ballooned.

But I didn’t care.

No one would ever know I was gay.

Yet, everyone knew I was miserable.

I remember – after decades of burying my pain in food, after that fried chicken dinner – my mother turning to me, and grabbing me, as I helped her wash the dishes. “You deserve to be happy, Wade! I’m not happy, if you’re not happy. And we haven’t been for a long, long time.”

I wept my entire drive home to St. Louis, but it marked the first time I didn’t stop to buy a bag of Funyons and a Snickers to eat on the way back.

When I got home that night, I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, studying my body.

Who was I? Where is he in here? This is not Wade. Why didn’t I deserve happiness?

I sat down on my couch, ready to eat a bag of Cheetos out of depression, when a Nordictrac infomercial happened to pop on. For some reason, I looked at the lean, fit body on the TV, and thought: Why can’t that be me? I got up and ordered one immediately.

After one week, I lost a pound. And then another.

But, more importantly, something deeper, more weighty than the scale registered: I realized for once that the physical is intimately intertwined to the spiritual and emotional. To be happy, I had to be healthy, inside and out.

So, I confronted my deepest, darkest demon, and I came out. It was the hardest moment of my life. My whole life I had feared that everyone I loved would reject me simply for being who I was. I believed I would be abandoned and left alone. I let fear rule my life. And that is why I ate.

The journey wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. I learned to live rather than die a little more every day. And I learned my fears weren’t totally reality. Eventually, I was embraced. I was loved. I was open, and whole. I was, for once, mentally, emotionally, spiritually happy.

And the physical followed in short time.

The Nordictrac turned to walking, which turned to running, which turned into a gym membership, which turned into healthy eating. When you work hard to be fit, you don’t sabotage it with bad food. You don’t want to sabotage it with bad food. It’s the same way when you are mentally and spiritually healthy: You don’t sabotage yourself with bad decisions.

I became a different person. I found love (a partner now of 15 years). I followed my passion, quitting my job and becoming a fulltime (and bestselling) author. I have never been happier. As my mother would tell me: “I lost one son, and I lost my other for a very long time. What a blessing it has been to see him finally blossom.”

I urge anyone battling their weight to look at their inside, first and foremost, before their outside. There you will find your answer.

As a bestselling author and occasional trainer, I tell everyone that it’s OK to be scared – of life’s challenges and obstacles, of love, of losing, of heartbreak, of the gym – but it’s not OK to be afraid, to let that fear define you.

My motto has become the following: “What would you do if you could not fail?”

Remember that … and then close your eyes, jump off that bridge, and you will fly toward your own happiness.

I can still remember the moment I finished my first marathon, finishing in 3:28:38.

My mom was waiting for me at the finish line with roses, a kiss and tears in her eyes. “You made it!” she told me.

And that, truly, said it all.

“Go-Going with the Go-Gos”

An excerpt from Rouse’s first memoir, America’s Boy

When you’re as fat as I am, it takes people a very long time to notice and then acknowledge that you’ve lost weight. 20 pounds off my total body weight is a lot like asking people to notice that Tammy Faye is trying out a new eyeliner. People also fear that they will jinx you by saying something too early in the weight-loss process, that, at any moment, they might round the corner at work and find you eating a jelly donut, the pressure just too much to take.

I pedal my ass off on my Nordictrac every night after work, listening to the entire front side of the Go-Gos, which lasts exactly 23 minutes. After a few months, I can tell I am peaking, so I decide to put man over machine. I take to the streets, speed walking rather slowly around my neighborhood. My speed and endurance quickly pick up, and I am jogging two miles, then three, then five. I run at the local park and go an hour. I am good at this, I think. The inner peace I find running alone – finally coming to peace with myself – is inspirational. It will culminate in the completion of a marathon, my running, for once, actually having a finite ending point.

For the first time, the pieces in my life feel connected: the mental and physical, the emotional and the spiritual. Everything clicks. I do not want to eat poorly anymore. I find comfort in exercise and not food. I have in sight the most important goal of my life: to get healthy on the outside and the inside.

Most importantly, I have outed myself to myself. I am amazed that it took three decades, but I don’t care anymore. It’s about tomorrow and the next day and the future. For once, it’s not about the past. Each day is a step closer to my own self. This motivates me to work harder. I go to the doctor, I read books on nutrition and exercise, inhaling them like I used to inhale Cherry Mashes.

Once I have come to terms with myself, I feel an inner spirituality spark in me, an inner light shine that I have never felt before. This sounds like hokem, I know, but I finally feel OK about who I am. And this serves as the driving force to get in shape – I have nothing left to hide. I must become comfortable being “naked,” inside and out.

Wade Rouse guest posts about his Audrey Hepburn Wrists is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

It's been more than a year of setbacks when it's come to my health. First, it was sciatica. Then it was tummy issues. At 45 years of age, the warranty was off the old model, and I was slowly coming undone.

The sciatica was the first to throw me off my normal routine of getting up early to workout with the Wii. Instead, since I was awakened most nights by pain, I concentrated on sleeping not working out. Plus, it was too hard to work out or ride the stationary bike since I couldn't sit for longer for 20 minutes at a time.

New approaches to an old problem

I signed up for physical therapy twice a week. I changed my diet to something less inflammatory. I went to see an acupuncturist. Maybe it was trying all these new things that helped, but ultimately it was time - and pain killers - that helped me recover fully.

As soon as I felt better, I tried to get back to my exercise routine, but traveling and work got in the way. I always found an excuse not to work out - I'm tired. I have a writing deadline. I'm leaving this week for a conference.

I knew things had to change, so I tried something new. Instead of working out at home, I signed up for Pilates reformer classes twice a week at a nearby studio. That way I'm forced to work on my core strength when I think I'm too busy to go. At first, I dreaded the classes and wondered if they were helping. However, after a couple of months and more challenging exercises, I feel invigorated. Plus, I'm starting to see improvements in my fitness and my figure.

If it isn't one thing, it's another

Last fall I started having stomach pain and heartburn issues. First, I went to my doctor who sent me for tests. Then I went to a specialist who sent me for more tests. Then I went back to my general practitioner who suggested something new - an ALCAT blood test. It wasn't testing for food allergies but for food sensitivities. Hmmm, that was a new approach to things.

When the tests came back, I found out that I had food sensitivities to a lot of things from green tea to curry to cane sugar. So I tried something new. On January 1, 2011 I totally changed my diet. While eating around food sensitivities has its pros and cons, feeling better and having tons more energy makes it all worth it.

How can you change it up?

If you find yourself slacking when it comes to your fitness or your healthy eating, maybe changing the way you do things and trying something new will help you stay motivated. If you're hit a fitness plateau, maybe you could try a new exercise class at the rec center. If you're in a food rut, try a new recipe with an ingredient that's new to you, like farro or quinoa.

There's an old saying that goes, “If you're stuck, stop and trying something different.” Maybe it's time to try something new!

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Thank you to P&G’s Have You Tried This Yet? program and Kroger for sponsoring my writing about trying new things and breaking out of my everyday routine. Click here to find great savings on high-performing P&G products at a Kroger store near you. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

Trying something new #CleverTryNew is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

Thanks to Trop 50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 fabulous wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to help grant a friend's wish!

More than just “good enough” food bloggers

A while back there was a discussion about food blogging at BlogHer, Is Food Blogging too Hard? I commented that there’s nothing wrong with being a “good enough” food blogger – especially those of us who have jobs, do freelance work, or are just busy taking care of our families. Many of us don’t have the talent and energy to create yummy original recipes. Or years of experience in taking gorgeous food photographs. Or the fortitude to do a crock pot recipe every day for a year. And that’s OK. If we can manage to post a few recipes (original or not), and take a quick snapshot for our blog before we serve what we cooked up to our kids, then we’re doing alright.

Yet there are fabulous food bloggers out there who do it all. They inspire me even though we may have different food and blogging philosophies. Frankly, I’m amazed how lucky I am to call these women friends.

Alanna Kellogg of A Veggie Venture and The Kitchen Parade 

There would be no On a Diet at This Mama Cooks! without Alanna. A few years ago, Alanna and I had a friendly disagreement about what I was featuring here on my then neglected blog – other people’s recipes that I hadn’t tried and had no intention of doing so. (Yes, it was lazy food blogging at its best.) I reasoned with her that no one wanted to read diet recipes. Or did they? It was a light bulb moment for me and This Mama Cooks! On a Diet was born. Alanna and I met soon afterwards at BlogHer 2007 in Chicago and I’ve always been grateful for her friendship – and for giving me a kick in the pants.

Kalyn at Kalyn’s Kitchen 

Kalyn was one of the first people to rally the food blogging community by getting us together at BlogHer. I still remember the wonderful Chinese food we had in Chicago at BlogHer 2007 and the lovely meal she and I shared at Sandra Bullock’s restaurant, Bess Bistro on Pecan, during SXSW 2009. She was also one of the first people I knew who quit their day job for blogging. (Actually Kalyn retired from teaching with a pension. Still it was impressive.) Over the years, her South Beach Diet blog has become even more gorgeous and professional looking. She and her blog are ones to emulate, for sure.

Vanessa at ChefDruck Musings

We’ve roomed together at BlogHer Food and Camp Blogaway. We’ve hung out with the Silicon Valley mom bloggers at BlogHer, and the funny people at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Conference. We’re competing against each other in the Hillshire Farm’s Most Wanted Sandwich contest. We’re both French (though Vanessa’s waaaaay more French than me). Both our moms are breast cancer survivors. We like to spatchcock turkeys (mine) to chickens (hers). She’s smart, savvy and sweet and, like me, passionate about being a mom and making delicious food.  She’s my sister from another (French) mother.

Jennifer at Savor the Thyme

When it comes to making my food blogging more professional, Jennifer inspires me. We both struggle to make our blogs the best that they can be even while working around our kids’ schedules and our freelance gigs. Did I mention her food photography is getting more gorgeous every day? And that her healthy recipes at her blog and on Babble’s The Family Kitchen are oh-so-yummy? My mom used to tell me that when she played tennis with better players, her game improved. When I see what Jennifer’s doing, she motivates me to be a better healthy food blogger.

Marla at Family Fresh Cooking

Marla is about as big as my 10-year-old son and has more energy than a high school cheerleading squad. She’s talented. Honest. Funny. Insightful. Ambitious. A real dynamo and going places fast! We first met at the Good Egg Project's Farm to Table Tour, and I’ve seen her go from food blogging newbie to seasoned, expert food blogger in less than a year. Her blog is wonderful – delicious recipes, gorgeous photography, and amazing giveaways her readers love. Plus, she “walks the (healthy) walk,” from taking a jog at Camp Blogaway to carrying stevia extract in her purse. I know Marla’s going to go far, whether it’s a cookbook deal or her own cooking show on network TV. And I’ll be proud to tell others that I “knew her when.”

I hope you take time to visit these women at their wonderful food blogs.

Don't forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to support a friend's wish. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

Five fabulous food bloggers #clever5 is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

If you’re like me, you’ve read a lot of books on weight loss. In fact, you probably have a few gathering dust on your bookshelf right now. Well, before you think, “Oh no, I’m not going to read about another diet and exercise weight loss plan,” let me introduce you to Marty McGee Bennett and her weight loss book, The Problem with Weight is NOT Losing It.

What’s unique about her approach is that she uses lessons she’s learned from working with animals and applies that to weight loss and maintenance. Her secret is what she calls the Balance Differential.

Marty believes it’s about making small, consistent changes in your diet and exercise routine so you’re at your desired, healthy weight. She also shows you how to maintain that weight as you get older, which is important for us who are starting to experience that middle age spread. The Problem with Weight is NOT Losing It is full of testimonials from “The Balance Bunch,” and features numerous pictures of Marty working with llamas, alpacas, dogs and even a cheetah.

The book's a delight to read, so check it out.

What an animal behaviorist can teach us about balancing our weight

I’ve battled with my weight since age 15. I’ve lost 30 to 40 pounds at least eight times, and five to 10 pounds too many times to remember. But I kept gaining the weight back, each time feeling more frustrated and defeated.

In 2007 - at age 50 - I realized that the answer was right in front of me. I’m a professional animal handler and trainer, specializing in llamas and alpacas. I teach people how to work successfully and without force by using small, almost imperceptible signals to keep animals in balance.

But, while I was helping animals stay in balance, I wasn't paying attention to my own balance. In fact, I was doing JUST the opposite. In the quest to lose weight, I tried every diet I met, and extreme exercise regimes.

In essence, I was purposely putting myself OUT OF BALANCE. Rigorous dieting is the animal handling equivalent of a corrective jerk on the dog collar. Our bodies may respond temporarily but we haven't actually learned how to be in balance. The momentum created by self-denial causes us to CAREEN back the other way and overeat.

Armed with my new revelation, I decided to try a different approach on my own animal - MY body! Inspired by the way I teach people to work with animals, I began making small changes in what I ate, and in my activity level. I also used a simple math equation, which I call the Balance Differential.

The Balance Differential

The Balance Differential equation takes into account your age, height, weight and activity level. After calculating it for your current weight, you make the same calculation again using the weight you'd like to be. The difference between the two is your Balance Differential number.

When I did this for myself, I was shocked to discover that my Balance Differential number was just 103 calories. So, how did I end up 20-30 pounds overweight, over and over again? I was slipping ever so slightly out of balance. One extra cookie, three extra crackers or two extra spoonfuls of dinner a day had been my undoing. That extra 100 calories a day meant at the end of just one year, I would be between 8 and 11 pounds heavier!

Rebalancing as you grow older

Even if you've never had a weight problem, it's important to rebalance as you age. On average, we need nine calories less per day for every year we age. Eat and exercise the same way for the 10 years between ages 30 and 40, and you will weigh an additional 10 pounds when you blow out the candles on

your 40th birthday cake.

As we deal with holiday eating, busy lives, and as we get older, it's easy to get off track. Learning to be in balance is a skill; getting good at it takes practice and intention. Once you learn the skill of weight maintenance, it’s easy to enjoy life and stay in balance.

Win a copy of The Problem with Weight is NOT Losing It

Marty’s giving away TWO of her books! Here’s how to enter:

1. Share your biggest weight loss challenge. Whatever it is, let us know below in the comment section along with your name, email address, and blog URL (if you have one) in the comments below for ONE entry.
2. If you have a blog, feel free to post about this contest on it for ONE entry.
3. Sign up for This Mama Cooks! Review’s RSS feed for ONE entry.
4. Sign up for my enewsletter for ONE entry.
5. Spread the word about this giveaway by submitting a link to this post on Twitter for ONE entry. You must leave your Twitter username in your comment so I can check.
6. If you have done any of these activities you MUST come back here and leave a comment telling me what you did. I will be checking!
7. Maximum amount of entries at This Mama Cooks! is FIVE – leaving a comment here (1), posting about it on your blog (1), signing up for my enewsletter (1), signing up for my RSS feed (1), and using Twitter (1).
8. You have until midnight MT on Monday, November 22, 2010 to enter.
9. TWO winners will be chosen at random.
10. You must be willing to send me your full name and mailing address so I can forward it to Marty’s publicist so she can mail out your book.
11. I will also announce the winner on this blog. I will not share your mailing info with the public, just your name (first name and last initial). If you have a blog, I will link back to it when I announce the winners.

The book is valued at $24.95. This giveaway is only open to legal residents of the United States 18 years of age and older. No purchase required. Up to FIVE entries per person. Two books will be given away – one each to two people. Void where prohibited by law. By submitting your name and email address, you agree to receive relevant promotional emails and contest follow up communications from This Mama Cooks! On a Diet in compliance with my privacy policy and giveaway rules. This giveaway is sponsored by the author.

Giveaway is over. Congrats to our winners Gianna and Rachel at Texas Kitchen.

About Marty McGee Bennett

For over 25 years, Marty McGee Bennett has taught people about animals and animal handling, with a specialty in training and handling llamas and alpacas. She’s appeared on the Oxygen Network (“What's My Line”) and the Today Show.

In 2007, after years of being frustrated with her own weight issues, she started applying her techniques for nurturing balance in animals to help her balance and sustain her own ideal weight. In her book, The Problem with Weight is NOT Losing It, she and her colleagues, The Balance Bunch, share their experiences, including practical tips on how to use a simple equation and make small changes for ongoing weight maintenance. Published by Raccoon Press, The Problem with Weight is NOT Losing It is available online at theproblemwithweightisnotlosingit.com.

A resident of Bend, Oregon, McGee Bennett lives on a 10-acre farm with her husband, Brad, two dogs, two cats, five llamas, 11 alpacas, and super composting red wigglers, number unknown. She has a degree in animal behavior from the University of Georgia. Her animal training experience includes working with dogs, cats, horses, llamas, alpacas and camels. She’s also one of 12 instructors worldwide of Linda Tellington-Jones' T-Touch method.

Check out the The Problem with Weight is NOT Losing It blog and read more about Marty’s book.

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Disclosure: This post was sponsored by the author.

The Problem with Weight is NOT Losing It – book giveaway! is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!

At the time I was a charter school founder, I hoped creating the school would provide my community with a place where kids could be mentored by adults, whether it was moms leading a Girl Scouts troop or kids working on Odyssey of the Mind projects with their teachers. When I worked as a Usborne Books Educational Consultant, I hoped to inspire kids (and their parents) to love books as much as I do. And when I present at schools on career day, I tell kids that blogging is not only a way to earn money, but it’s a rewarding creative endeavor and a way to share your passions.

The Hersey Legacy: helping kids in need and watching them give back in return

In all these ways, I’ve mentored children in my community, but there are people out there doing even more who deserve our praise and attention. Recently, I learned about The Hersey Legacy.

One hundred years ago, Milton Hershey – the man who founded Hershey’s chocolate - established the Milton Hersey School to help poor children. It’s grown into a nurturing home for thousands of boys and girls needing to escape poverty and for some, homelessness, abuse, neglect and high-crime neighborhoods.

As adults these kids have taken that legacy to their communities in the form of job creation, philanthropy, community service, and youth mentorship. You can view the virtual Hersey Legacy map of the country showcasing the profiles of their alumni and the different ways they give back to their communities. You can also watch alumni stories or read A Legacy of Opportunity Shared: Measuring the Impact of the MILTON HERSHEY SCHOOL on The Hersey Legacy website.

How can you help?

Did you know that you’ve already helped spread The Hersey Legacy? Every time you’ve purchased a Hersey’s chocolate, you’ve given kids in need the opportunity of a first rate education and nurturing environment. But you can do more by spreading the word to help people:

• See if the Milton Hersey School is an opportunity for any children they know.
• Know that the school is a place of employment for educators and the healthcare, grounds, culinary and other staff that are required to create a safe, nurturing and supportive community for children.
• Learn about becoming a houseparent, which is the center of Milton Hersey School experience.

You can also send a virtual thank you on Facebook to friends to let them know about The Hersey Legacy.

Sharing your story

There are so many ways you probably help mentor kids in your community. Are you a church youth group leader? Or maybe you “just” help out at your daughter’s karate studio. Whatever the case may be, I’d like to give you a chance to share how you help mentor kids here at This Mama Cooks! In return, Hersey’s would like to thank you by giving you the chance to win a delicious Hershey’s Gift Basket.

Win a Hershey’s Legacy Gift Basket

Hersey’s has provided me with two gift baskets to give away to help promote their message about The Hersey Legacy. Each gift bag contains Hersey’s signature goodies, as shown here though instead of Whoppers they will include Milk Duds. Each gift basket is worth $50 - now that’s a lot of candy!

Here’s how to enter the Hershey’s giveaway:

1. Share how you mentor kids in your community below in the comments section. No need to write a novel. Just tell us what you do. Do you coach a basketball team? Help with a Girl Scout Troop? Whatever it is, let us know below along with your name, email address, and blog URL (if you have one) in the comments below for ONE entry.
2. If you have a blog, feel free to post about this contest on it for ONE entry.
3. Sign up for This Mama Cooks! Review’s RSS feed for ONE entry.
4. Sign up for my enewsletter for ONE entry.
5. Spread the word about this giveaway by submitting a link to this post on Twitter for ONE entry. You must leave your Twitter username in your comment so I can check.
6. If you have done any of these activities you MUST come back here and leave a comment telling me what you did. I will be checking!
7. Maximum amount of entries at This Mama Cooks! is FIVE – leaving a comment here (1), posting about it on your blog (1), signing up for my enewsletter (1), signing up for my RSS feed (1), and using Twitter (1).
8. You have until midnight MT on Monday, October 18, 2010 to enter.
9. TWO winners will be chosen at random. (One basket per winner.)
10. You must be willing to send me your full name and mailing address so I can forward it to Hersey’s PR person so they can mail out your gift basket.
11. I will also announce the winner on this blog. I will not share your mailing info with the public, just your name. If you have a blog, I will link back to it when I announce the winners.

The giveaway is valued at $50 and is only open to legal residents of the United States 18 years of age and older. No purchase required. Up to FIVE entries per person. Two gift baskets will be given away – one each to two people. Void where prohibited by law. By submitting your name and email address, you agree to receive relevant promotional emails and contest follow up communications from This Mama Cooks! On a Diet in compliance with my privacy policy and giveaway rules.

Contest closed. Congrats to April and Theresa!

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This post is sponsored by Hershey’s who provided the gift baskets for the giveaway. I did not receive any compensation to do this post or run the giveaway.

The Hersey Legacy: thanking mentors with a chocolate giveaway is a post from: This Mama Cooks! Stop by for more healthy recipes!